“My Awaken and Activate story began in 2011, when I went in for my 7-month gestational checkup. My midwife could not find the baby’s heartbeat, so my doctor induced me the very next day. On August 31st, 2011, I gave birth to our stillborn son, Johnathan Luke. His loss brought about so many different reactions: My siblings and parents all came to the hospital to be with my husband and me, each taking a moment to hold our son. My sisters made sure our home was completely spotless. My mother never left my side. Our amazing pastor came to the hospital, prayed with us, and even held Johnathan. Some family and friends didn’t come to the hospital because they couldn’t bear to see our immediate grief or our son, his soul already with the Lord.

In 2012, working as an assistant teacher, I was blessed to take Awaken and Activate with the other staff at my school. While Gary Janetzke taught about discerning God’s unique calling on my life, the trauma of Johnathan’s loss came to my mind. I knew that God wanted me to use my experience of a true tragedy to help others. We were incredibly blessed to have so much support from my strong, Christian family through the beginning stages of our grief. But it dawned on me how many women must have family and friends who can’t withstand seeing them grieve. Others don’t have close loved ones at all. Who is there for those women?


Since 2012, “life” has put my awakening on hold. My husband and I were blessed with two more sons. I decided to complete my cosmetology licensing program. “Life” is always a ready excuse to avoid what God is calling us to do. But God also uses it to let us know when it is time to act! In April 2019, I had a very vivid dream, in which I told my childhood Sunday school teacher that I was starting a nonprofit organization for moms, called Agape. I woke with a start, wrote down the name and looked it up! Agape: an ancient Greek word referring to, “the highest form of love, charity.” In the following months, God spoke with increasing clarity, “It’s time!”

So, I called my reFocusing coach, Gary. I filled him in and we worked out some next steps. I constantly ask myself the question: “What holes do these women need filled?” I am currently in the research stage, contacting grief support groups to get a feel for what resources are available to bereaved mothers. I know from experience the difficulty of accessing resources when the time suddenly comes. So, I am building an easy-access form!

I am so grateful for the Awaken and Activate workshops and for the continued support of my coach, though it took seven years to get activated!”


“Bereaved mothers will receive the support, encouragement, and resources they need to encounter the Comforter and heal.”